Your Dating App Has A Multi-Hundred Page Dossier On You!




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It’s hard out there for a single girl, especially now when dating has shifted to mostly being online. Still, there are plenty of women who have their own online dating nightmares.

Online dating is especially not easy because you really don’t know who you are talking to on the other side of the screen. If you meet someone, try FaceTiming with them first to make sure they are who they say they are.

Online dating is not just about having a good time. We are all seeking our soulmate, but sometimes you have to talk to a few frogs before you find your prince.

Here, six women let us in on their most disturbing, humiliating stories of digital dating gone terribly wrong:

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1. He had some pretty interesting quirks

“One night I hooked up with a guy I met online. We’d been on a few dates, but it was the first time I’d seen his apartment. He seemed so normal, but when I got back to his place, I realized he was a legit packrat.

He had tools and screws and pieces of wood lying around everywhere. I decided it was manly so we got on with things.

The next morning at 5 AM, I woke up with a bright light shining on my face. It turns out he had rigged up this system with a light on a timer to simulate the rising of the sun. I later found out he also had a makeshift washing machine in his bathtub.

I guess it was cool, but I felt like I was going out with that little inventor kid, Data, from The Goonies.” — Amy

2. He was way too into milk

“I’d been on two dates with this guy when he started telling me how much he wanted to make me dinner on our third date. Nice, right?

Well, the whole next week he sent me pictures of all the meals he’d prepared for himself. There was one with a steak that had a grayish/purple glisten to it, and another with spaghetti and garlic sprinkled on Wonder Bread. To drink? Always a glass of Scotch and a huge glass of milk.

I nearly got diarrhea just from looking at the pics. I never made it on that third date. I feel bad, but I was just worried I’d get stuck all the way out in his neighborhood without a bottle of Imodium.” — Danielle

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3. He puked on me

“I got puked on. Yep, that’s pretty much all that needs to be said.

It was this dude, Lorenzo, who was a really tough guy from Queens. He insisted we do shots, and he wasn’t much of a conversationalist, so I figured it was a pretty good idea.

We’re going shot for a shot when all of a sudden he got this weird expression on his face. He looked down and vomited all over the foot of the bar. It splattered up and covered my feet. I really didn’t think we’d exchange that type of bodily fluid on the first date.” — Paola

4. He became depressed when I didn’t get him flowers

“I went on a first date on Valentine’s Day. Yes, I realize now that’s never a good idea, but that year I just wanted to do something.

We met up at a restaurant and the guy was really cute, so everything seemed to be in order. Then, we sat down and he started looking around the restaurant at all the women with roses and bouquets of flowers. He began telling me how much he loves freshly cut flowers, and he was sad he didn’t get any that year.

Then, he fell into a weird funk and became moody for the rest of the meal. Was I supposed to run out and get him some roses?!

I quickly imagined a life together where I’d have to spoon him and tell him how beautiful he looked. I wasn’t feeling it. Oh, other red flags: he mentioned that his favorite celebrities were Macaulay Culkin and Michael Jackson.” — Heather

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5. He sent me a really weird unsolicited nude photo

“I’d been texting with this guy I met online. We still hadn’t met in person yet, but our messages had been pretty steady for about a week.

He was out of town for business and he was texting me about his hotel room, describing his view of the parking lot, and discussing the products in the minibar. All of a sudden a picture popped up on my phone. It was an over-the-shoulder shot of his butt in the mirror.

Then he sent a message, ‘How do you like this view?’ We had never even said anything sexual so it was completely out of the blue. Also, I did some sleuthing and it looked like there was a pair of shorts on the bed.

It was winter when we were talking, so I’m pretty sure it was a picture he keeps in his back pocket to send to girls. Real cool, dude.” — Sarah

6. I let out the loudest fart in the world

“I really hate audience participation and I made that clear when a guy I met online asked if I wanted to go to an improv show. He assured me there’d be no audience participation, so I agreed.

The second we got there, everyone in the audience had to put on a nametag. I was a nervous wreck the entire show and my stomach was making all these weird, really loud noises. Maybe it was jitters or maybe it was the Thai food we’d eaten earlier that night; there’s no way to be certain.

All I know is, at the absolute quietest moment of the show, I let one rip. Even the actor on stage looked distracted. Mortified doesn’t begin to describe how I felt. The guy teased me the rest of the night about my special kind of audience participation.” — Chelsea